SPEED CAM
Wed Aug 13 2003

"How could you have been so stupid, Sammy!" Lorna slumped to the floor in her dressing gown, clutching the letter. 

Sammy shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't going that fast. I don't remember seeing any cameras…" 

"You're not supposed to see them. That's the point." She was almost in tears, but Sammy could sense they were tears more of anger than sadness. Tread carefully. 

"Well, I must have lost concentration. 101, that's not fast, maybe they'll let me off." 

But of course they didn't. A summons came the next week, and Sammy had his day in court. A month's ban and £1000 fine. Might as well have been a million, since he didn't have it. And without the car, he had no way to earn it. Robert at the depot was all smiles but there was nothing he could do, he said. With no license, he couldn't keep Sammy on. Not even just for a month until he got it back. Lorna was not pleased. 

"Get out there and get some money." 

"That's easy for you to say, Lorna. Driving is what I do, it's the only job I can do." 

She growled. "Oh! How could you have been so stupid? We've got bills. Lots of them, most of them red." 

"I know." He really did. They had been struggling before, but keeping above the water. No kids to worry about - thank goodness. But the rent was already a week overdue, the credit cards were maxed out, and the bank account constantly at their overdraft limit. He could borrow some money off his brother Jim, Lorna has already suggested it, but he'd rather cut his own throat before going to that swine. 

He scratched his chin; the bald spot where a blob of solder had burned him years ago and the hair had never grown back. "I'll go out today and get something. Anything." 

Anything turned out to be wheelbarrows of hot tarmacadam. 

"You'll get used to the smell", Leery said. His clothes were filthy, and so were his jokes. But Sammy had taken an instant like to the big Irish fellow. Lorna would have called him salt of the earth, or something equally patronising. He was big, stocky, hairy faced with a dirty combat jacket and dirty faded jeans. But then it was a building site. 

"Why do they call you Leery?" 

"Because I don't like my real name." 

"What is your real name?" I tipped the blackstuff out into the soft verge of the road. 

"I'll never tell. But they call me Leery because I come from Dun Laoghaire." He started shovelling the tarmac around, spreading it thickly over the recently excavated ditch. "So you got caught speeding then? Hard cheese, blondie." 

"Yeh, but keep your voice down. That foreman guy might not like it and give me the push. I need the money" 

"Him? Big Streak? Don't you worry about him. If he gives you any trouble, just you let me know. Me and the boys have an understanding with him." He tapped the side of his nose knowingly. 

"It's only a month, so I thought I'd do some labouring in the meantime. Get some money." 

"Not a lot", Leery said. "But enough to keep a body in what it needs. I've been in worse gangs than this. This is a good crew. Lots of fringe benefits." 

Sammy looked puzzled. "What do you mean?" 

Leery tapped his nose again but said nothing. Sammy went back for another wheelbarrow load, and they passed the rest of that fine sunny day in that punctuated conversation, only talking when their paths coincided. 

A week into it, and Sammy felt muscles growing that had never been evident. He has started wearing a checked shirt with the sleeves rolled up, looking every bit the navvy. Leery came up to him at the gravel pile as he was loading up the barrow. 

"Where about exactly did you get caught speeding again?" 

Sammy sighed. "I told you, that bit of dual carriageway beside the Spires pub. There's a camera up there, must be behind a bush or something." 

Leery nodded. "I've just been up there with The Streak. Monday morning, we're trenching along there, and you and me are on the bedding team. You can take a look then." 

Sammy shrugged. "I'm no really wanting to see it, I might take a pick axe to it." 

Leery laughed. "A fat lot of good it'd do you. Those things are armoured, you know. Plate steel. I just thought it might be therapeutic for you." 

Therapeutic? This guy didn’t speak like a navvy. "Leery, just what in hell are you? I doubt most people on this crew could spell therapeutic, never mind know what it means." 

And of course, he just tapped his nose and walked away. 

Sammy hadn't told Lorna where he'd be working. He'd learned to avoid the whole subject of the speeding in the last few weeks. She was glad he was bringing some money into the house, but she had not forgiven him - by a long way yet. On the Monday morning, he dreaded the crew van coming for him, but out he went just the same. 

Leery was the same as usual as the pair of them stepped out of the van. "So you want to go look for this camera of yours? I had a quick look up and down the other day, but I can't see the bugger anywhere." 

"To be honest, Leery, I'd rather just forget about it and get stuck into this big pile of gravel." 

"Good man, I like to see a body happy at his work." He grinned and started shovelling. 

At lunchtime, Sammy went to look for Leery and found him huddled over some papers in the back of the van. 

"Leery, what you up to, big man?" 

"Just… keeping my records up to date. Now don't you be so nosy, you wee shoplifter you." 

Sammy grabbed his shoulder. "Shoplifter? Who told you about that?" 

Leery's eyes went skyward. "Me and my big mouth, eh?" He looked at Sammy, and broke into his big grin. 

Sammy wasn't smiling. "Leery, tell me. That shoplifting thing was years ago. I was just a kid. I just want to know who told you about it." 

"It's here." He pointed to the papers. "In your court records." 

Sammy sat down. "Wait a minute. Just wait a minute. Court records? What the hell are you doing with my court records in a back of a crappy van on the hard shoulder of a bloody road?" 

Leery shrugged. "Well, I've come this far. I may as well tell you everything." He got up and shut the door to the van, locking it from the inside. "I'm trusting you now, Sammy. And I don't like to be crossed." 

Sammy sat quietly, waiting for the explanation. 

"I always check out the circumstances surrounding all of my jobs. That means checking out the recent convictions, who is involved, who might be involved. I'm careful because I'm one of the good guys. I don't want innocents getting the blame. You understand?" 

"Not a bit. Blame for what?" 

"We'll get to that. Look Sammy, what did you do before you got this driving ban? What was your job?" 

"I was a driver for a concrete slab depot. No great shakes, but not bad money." 

"A crap job, in other words. No offence, Sammy son. How would you like to earn some real money? Good money, and regular." 

"What do you think? But Lorna would kill me if I got involved with anything dodgy, Leery. She didn't even find out about the shoplifting until that bloody court. I'm still getting the dagger eyes for that." 

"Aye, aye. But there's crime and crime." 

"I couldn't risk it, Leery. I'd like to come in with you, I like you and trust you. But she'd have my guts for guitar strings." 

Leery smiled. "I understand, there's more than one way to please a lady, though." He folded one piece of paper and put it in his inside pocket, tucking the remaining folder of papers under the seat. He opened the back door of the van. "Come for a wee hurl with me, we'll take the JayCee for a run up the hard shoulder. We can talk some more." 

Sammy hadn't been in the digger before, and sitting in the two-seater cab with the huge shovel in front of him, he felt higher than everyone else on the road. 

Leery got into the driver's seat. "Don't touch. Anything." He started the digger up, and eased it off the verge onto the hard shoulder. He got the digger up to about 35, which was its top speed on the flat. 

"So tell me, Sammy. How did you feel when you got that letter telling you that you'd been caught?" 

"I was bloody livid - and scared to tell Lorna. I knew she'd go off her head." 

"Concentrate on the livid. You were angry? It was unfair, wasn't it? The road was quiet, it was good conditions. You weren't even sure you were going that fast. 101 miles per hour. Convenient, don't you think? You were just over the limit where they had to ban you." 

"Convenient? But they say the camera never lies. What can I do?" 

"That's right, they do say that. And I believe them." They were chugging around a long slow left-hand bend. Traffic was passing them at varying speeds on the right, bushes and small trees on the verge to the left. "And you're right. There's nothing you can do." 

Suddenly Leery pulled on the left stick, and the digger veered madly up onto the verge and into a huge hawthorn bush languishing by the roadside. Out the other side and the digger went straight into the yellow speed camera, knocking it a clear twenty feet off its pedestal. It skidded onto the hard shoulder and came to a halt. 

They said nothing for a while. 

Sammy opened his mouth, but Leery stopped him. "Don't say anything. I'll explain." 

Leery got out of the cab, and examined the front of the digger. He climbed back in and reported that damage was minimal. 

"Minimal?" Sammy was astounded. "How can you say that? You've wrecked that camera, it's all over the bloody road! We are going to get it in the neck for this. I'm very touched, Leery, that you'd want revenge for me, but…" 

"We're not going to get into trouble, and this was nothing to do with revenge for your speeding, though I have to admit the look on your face is something to behold. That's what I've been trying to tell you. This is what we do for a living." 

"You destroy speed cameras?" 

"Got it in one. And I can tell you that I am highly paid for this." 

"Paid? By who?" 

Leery tapped the side of his nose. "I used to be a futures broker, I was practically a millionaire. The job had stock options, and…" He grinned. "Then I lost my license. Just like you. All gone, every penny, the options vanished when I got fired. A bunch of us got together, made some plans. And here we are." 

"I can't believe what you're telling me, Leery. But I want no part of it. It's illegal. Sure I hate that camera out there, but I can't start going around destroying them." 

Leery shrugged. "Come outside for a minute. I want to show you something." 

They got out of the cab and walked the distance to the broken speed camera. In the fall, it had broken open, revealing the interior. Leery crouched down, and Sammy followed. 

Leery poked at the camera. "Sammy, you seem to me to be a fair guy, you try to stay on the straight and narrow. I respect that. You need to stop looking at this as a matter of crime. It's not, it's a matter of justice. This is the camera that snapped you doing 101 miles per hour, remember. Look inside." 

Sammy frowned, but peered inside the crushed yellow box. 

It was empty. 

Leery fished his mobile phone from a side pocket and stabbed a quick dial button. "Yeh. It's me. That's it down. Yes, you were right. No camera inside, and there never has been one. Heh. You know me, sir. Of course. Yes, of course. I may have a new recruit for you." He raised his eyebrows at Sammy. 

"Where do I sign."